Bachelor Breakdown

This is by far one of the best seasons to watch the Bachelor because I don't really care who ends up with Brad.  I don't even know why Brad is on this show.  If he is the best that the producers can find (twice), I sense the show is close to ending.  We want NEW BLOOD not people who've been on previous shows and definitely not ones who have been the rose-giver before!

OK, done with that rant.  First let's meet the train wrecks:



Brad










Brad.  This is one of the most annoying bachelors ever.  There is nothing charming, fun or interesting about him.  All he does is worry if the women are upset and explain himself to them.  Quite wimpy.  Should I mention he calls his therapist regularly for advice?  Ladies, RUN, don't fight for him.  Or do.  It's much more entertaining if you do.

Alli

Alli.  She is annoying enough to be perfect for Brad.  I do not know how she's still here.  She has some serious big, white teeth too.

Ashley H

Ashley H.  She found her mate on this show.  It's Ashley S.

Ashley S

Ashley S.  She got the first impression rose, but has since become very childlike.  Sweet, but a tad dull.

Britt

Britt.  Another one I don't understand why she's on here.

Chantal

Chantal.  Probably one of my favs.  Has rocking legs.  Not too annoying.

Emily

Emily.  Cute, sweet, great southern accent.  Enough baggage she'll probably get to be the next Bachelorette.

Jackie

Jackie.  Hmmp.  Don't know much about her if that tells you anything.

Lisa

Lisa. If I could get past her hair I might like her.  If Michelle was true to her hair stylist code, she would feel obligated to help this poor girl.  And she needs a push up bra to make it on this show.

Marissa

Marissa.  She kinda scares me.

Michelle

Michelle.  Lots of people hate her, but she does add some spice to the show.  And has AMAZING eyebrows.

Shawntel

Shawntel.  She kills me.  (funeral director joke).

Chris Harrison

Chris.  The man that makes it all happen.  I have a bit of a crush on him.

Okay, onto last nights episode in Vegas.

Shawntel got to go on a shopping spree and came home with enough bags to make the ladies almost jump on her and beat her to death.  She came back and put on this amazing dress that she was way too tomboyish for and went to eat dinner on a building rooftop with Brad.  Of course there were fireworks, but no famous musician which surprised me.  She stole my heart when he picked her up and you could see that she had changed into flip flops.

Next was a group date with all but the 2 Ashleys and Shawntel.  Brad took them to the speedway to drive NASCAR cars.  Really?  Nobody even seemed to have fun.  Especially not Emily.  Her dead fiance used to drive NASCAR and wrecked in Vegas.  Brad FAIL.  You know the producers knew this which is why it's even more obvious what they will do for ratings.  Alli showed her true colors and got mad that Emily's "problems" were taking up her time, Chantel drove fast and was smooth enough to "slip" out the love word to Brad (totally scored points with him) and Michelle told Brad she would save him from the "girls".  Emily got the group date rose.

Ashley double date.  2 Girls, 1 Rose, 1 Stays, 1 Goes.  Beautiful poetry.  Another producer driven date, why pick the two girls that are friends to go on the date that one has to go home?  They went Viva Las Vegas Cirque du Soleil and neither stood out.  Ashley H. ended up getting the boot and tried to plug herself and look pathetic enough that they'd slot her for the next Bachelorette, but honestly didn't look very upset.  Which left Ashley S. with the rose.

So, Ashley S., Emily and Chantel are safe.

When the camera spans the room all I can see is Michelle's hideous necklace.  Oops, it's overshadowed by Chantel's weird dress and obnoxious cleavage.  Michelle take Brad aside and tells him not to talk and explains why she is for him and the other women are "girls" and said "Let's go send some girls home".  Marissa gave him an envelope of random things she'd text him.  Brad made it clear he had no interest in Britt by sitting a foot from her on the couch.

Would you accept this rose?

1 - Michelle

2 - Alli

3 - Britt

4 - Jackie

5 - Chantel

Considering they are all ick but Michelle and Chantel we know the two finalists now.

See you next week in Costa Rica!